The Humanaut Creative Test

1. Prove you are human in 100 words or less.

We went on a hike over the weekend to Deep Creek. I couldn’t climb down the last few feet of a sheer rock wall to make it to a swimming hole. [Redacted coworker name] offered to carry me. I thought, okay, this seems fine. We both ate shit. Brief evidence of this event is available below, but not recommended. It should be noted, however, that robots cannot bleed (yet).

2. Make an overly passionate argument for or against the following statement: Pop-Tarts are Ravioli. (Oh yeah, you’re talking to a 5-year-old.)

Hey, come here for a minute. Sit on the couch. No, put the iPad away. You can watch Paw Patrol in a few minutes. Put the iPad on the table or you won’t get to watch anything until tomorrow. Okay. Ahem.

 

There are a lot of things in this world that are hard to talk about. Things you will learn when you are older. But I think it’s time for you to learn this today.

 

Pop-Tarts are ravioli.

 

A ravioli – you know what a ravioli is. Mom makes them all the time, you love ravioli. The pasta with cheese inside. Yeah. Those are ravioli. And you know what a Pop-Tart is. Right. So, ravioli don’t always have cheese inside. A ravioli is just a kind of dough that has a filling, and the edges are closed to hold the filling inside. That’s why Pop-Tarts are just like ravioli – that’s why they are ravioli. Do you see what I’m saying?

 

Yeah, so the only difference between ravioli and a Pop-Tart is the kind of dough they’re made from. And that’s not a big deal! Don’t ever let anyone tell you that your dough defines who you are inside. It’s about how you shape that dough. No, it’s okay. I’m not crying. I’m fine. Daddy’s just happy. I’m proud of you.

 

Okay, now you can watch Paw Patrol. And we’re having one kind of ravioli for dinner and another kind for dessert. Haha, that’s right. I love you, son.

3. How would you re-position Werther’s Originals candy to millennials to make them relevant? Give them a product innovation and a new tagline.

We went on a hike over the weekend to Deep Creek. I couldn’t climb down the last few feet of a sheer rock wall to make it to a swimming hole. [Redacted coworker name] offered to carry me. I thought, okay, this seems fine. We both ate shit. Brief evidence of this event is available below, but not recommended. It should be noted, however, that robots cannot bleed (yet).

4. Write a 30-second radio ad targeted specifically at your mother that convinces her to try CBD oil.

We went on a hike over the weekend to Deep Creek. I couldn’t climb down the last few feet of a sheer rock wall to make it to a swimming hole. [Redacted coworker name] offered to carry me. I thought, okay, this seems fine. We both ate shit. Brief evidence of this event is available below, but not recommended. It should be noted, however, that robots cannot bleed (yet).

5. Write 3 headlines that convince someone to donate their body to science when they die.

We went on a hike over the weekend to Deep Creek. I couldn’t climb down the last few feet of a sheer rock wall to make it to a swimming hole. [Redacted coworker name] offered to carry me. I thought, okay, this seems fine. We both ate shit. Brief evidence of this event is available below, but not recommended. It should be noted, however, that robots cannot bleed (yet).

6. There’s a brand-new 3D Meat Printer at Whole Foods that lets you print many varieties of cruelty-free, lab-grown meat. Write the copy for the sign next to this machine that makes this seem totally normal, and not creepy, and convinces people to try it for the very first time.

We went on a hike over the weekend to Deep Creek. I couldn’t climb down the last few feet of a sheer rock wall to make it to a swimming hole. [Redacted coworker name] offered to carry me. I thought, okay, this seems fine. We both ate shit. Brief evidence of this event is available below, but not recommended. It should be noted, however, that robots cannot bleed (yet).

7. Provide links to 3 ideas that made you jealous in the last year. (Things you wish you had made.)

We went on a hike over the weekend to Deep Creek. I couldn’t climb down the last few feet of a sheer rock wall to make it to a swimming hole. [Redacted coworker name] offered to carry me. I thought, okay, this seems fine. We both ate shit. Brief evidence of this event is available below, but not recommended. It should be noted, however, that robots cannot bleed (yet).

Bonus Question: What have you made lately in your free time? Provide links if possible.

We went on a hike over the weekend to Deep Creek. I couldn’t climb down the last few feet of a sheer rock wall to make it to a swimming hole. [Redacted coworker name] offered to carry me. I thought, okay, this seems fine. We both ate shit. Brief evidence of this event is available below, but not recommended. It should be noted, however, that robots cannot bleed (yet).

How long did the test take you?

I noodled on it for a few days, and then cooked it all up on Sunday. God was displeased.